


Before it gets any better, we're heading for a cliff

by RyanNew



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Depression, Eating Disorders, How Do I Tag, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, calum is distant, luke is clingy, michael is confused and ash is desperate to know what's happening, spoilers but i can't not tag them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-05 10:39:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3117032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyanNew/pseuds/RyanNew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When times get hard, Luke clings on and Calum disappears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i miss you, i love you

Ashton slithered into the bunk beside Calum, snaking his arms around his boyfriend's waist. Calum just sighed, and Ash frowned.  
"You okay love?" Calum didn't react, and Ashton rolled over so he was straddling him. "I miss you."  
"Sorry."  
"Don't be." said the curly haired boy, pecking the younger on the cheek. "I just miss our cuddles, and your cute squishy face." He squeezed Calum's cheeks, and Cal reluctantly gave a small, half-hearted smile.  
Ash rolled off him and whispered in his ear. "And I _really_ missed that smile."

With that, he left for his own bunk, and Calum settled down to sleep. He missed Ashton too, with all his heart, but this was for the best. He couldn't hurt Ash by being with him, he just couldn't. 

_The only way to keep him safe was to stay away._

\--卌--

Michael was sat in the bus lounge, curled on the sofa with his iPad, watching old episodes of Broadchurch. He'd already gone through five episodes in an afternoon, and he knew he should probably do something productive, but he could't quite find the motivation to _move_.He turned to look at the door when he heard it open, and saw his boyfriend stood sheepishly at the edge of the room, running his fingers through his messy quiff. Mike smiled, and the younger boy went and joined him on the sofa. They both giggled as Luke attached himself to Michael like a lanky, clingy koala.

"You know I love you, right?" he muttered into Michael's fluffy pink hair.  
"Course. You tell me all the time."  
"No, not just like that. Not in a meaningless way, like something I say in passing. I mean it like I never want to say it to anyone else. I'm nothing without you. I don't just love you, I'm _in_ love with you."

Michael didn't know what to say, and he just sat with his mouth hanging open. Luke started babbling about how he was sorry, and shouldn't have said that, but the older boy silenced him with a kiss.

_"I feel the same, Luke."_


	2. unofficial seperation, i need you to stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it really confuses me that people actually read and left kudos on the last chapter considering this is my first story on ao3 but i'm very grateful ily x

They were in the middle of tour, and this was such a bad time for everything to go wrong. Yet, at the cruel hand of fate, here they were in the middle of a life that was unraveling.

Calum and Ashton had always been in the most perfect kind of relationship. They were both excellent at dishing out cuddles, and words of comfort and advice. But for some reason, Calum was suddenly more distant than Ash had ever seen him. It hurt to see the younger boy so empty, but he could do nothing. Suddenly, his 4AM pep talks weren't helping. Usually when Cal was upset about something, he would go to his boyfriend and things would be okay again in a matter of hours. But it was months since he had been alright.

He was living like a ghost- walking by everyone he knew, saying that he was grand, when he was obviously so very far from fine.

Ash was beyond worried. But what could he do? Calum was his own person. At 19, he could handle himself. He was legally an adult, and hell, if 5SOS didn't exist then his life would have no impact on Ash's, so his behaviour now shouldn't have any bearing on Ashton's happiness.

_But if that was the case, why did this unofficial separation hurt like a knife in his heart?_

\--卌--

Michael and Luke were cuddled in the small bunk together, curled up since the bunks were like 4 inches too short. They were watching The Inbetweeners on Michael's iPad, and the episode had just ended. It was almost 2AM, and Luke was yawning, his nose scrunching up like a kitten's.

"Luke, I think it's time for bed, yeah? I'll see you in the morning."

He began to climb out of the bunk, when Luke grabbed his wrist. Michael turned around, and saw that Luke had so much adoration, and what almost looked like fear, in his big blue eyes.

There was no way he could go back to his own bunk and sleep alone after what Luke said next.

_"Tonight, I need you to stay."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay there were so many twenty one pilots references this chapter oh dear
> 
> I am way too obsessive over t.o.p. and I love them very much so yeah
> 
> If you like this story please let me know because I am incredibly insecure about my writing


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